Coldplay - Paradise

A Simple Note

In this place I am a beggar for attention

In this phase I can only write a song
Through the maze I am dying for affection
Find a place anywhere I can belong

Somehow someway I am a seeker of protection

Tomorrow, today I keep waiting far too long
Somewhen someday I’ll no longer chase your consolation
Countless yesterdays I’ve been aching for too long

In this case I am a fighter for satisfaction

In this haze I cry a tear and sing my song
Through the race I have given my affection
Now I’m at a place somewhere I know I belong.

C.H.A.N.G.E.

In the last six months I have experienced so many different things in this walk of life; some new realizations, diverse sentiments and massive changes. Perhaps I can say I am presently standing at the biggest turning point of my life; whether it concerns my career or my personal life. I have probably never had anything big on my shoulders as this that every time I think about it my brain seems to stop running and I just turn blank. I wish the answers were as easy as 19 years ago when I only had to problem a broken shoe heel.

 

I have always been very careful with every decision I had to make. Things may not go my way all the time but I was mostly, if not always, blessed with pretty little consolations. Well now it’s different. Big things need more caution. And as we age so are our problems. It’s like you get tougher challenges as you make it through the previous level. Whatever choice you make, you deal with the accompanying consequence.

 

Right now it’s in or out, it’s up or down, stop or go and left or right. I can only choose one and I ought to be really careful and considerate. I find myself faced with a difficult challenge that I need to overcome fast. The clock ticks as if I’m about to be executed. It’s like I have to choose “A” because I need to and I want to choose “B” because it’s where I want to be. The stress when you’re torn between what you want and what you need. But what you need doesn’t always mean it’s the right choice. And there must be another way to have both. I just don’t know exactly how right now.

 

Maybe I do. I’m just scared to take the risk. I have been accustomed to my comfort zone that it’s hard to walk away from it and seek the independence I never had. It seems that I’ve been walking around the same park for a long time now and I haven’t even managed to get my feet moving forward. This position, it could change my life in a nick of time. It could give me the change I’ve been longing for. This circumstance could either bring me up or pull me down. And I have got to be prepared for both.

 

I can set my mind to however I want to, or at least try. But I can’t run away from the inevitable. I won’t have to try to escape like it’s the last thing I can do. I just have to do what my heart tells me to and know that whether it’s wrong or right it’s going to make me happy. For now, I’d like to say that’s important. But the irony of life I know will never leave me without a price. I guess nothing really comes free. I will have to be strong for myself. The courage to face the pain will be my strength to resist it.