Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

My heart isn't completely happy. Above everything I have in my life at present, it still feels like something is missing. And no matter how many smiles and laughters I make in a day, in a week, in a month, what's inside me is still a shadow of reality that my heart is crying.

Whenever I see other people's biggest and happiest moments on TV, my tear glands break down. Whenever there's a line or a quote or a song I wish to have heard, I smile in tears. And whenever this happens, I have to hide myself away. In my life lessons I have learned to keep it within me, I have learned to wear that mask everyday and be steel-hearted when I go out that door.

A lot of reasons I had for being angry and impatient lately. My mouth has lost it's benevolence. My mind has created bigger spaces for negativity to rent in. And my heart, this pathetic heart, has locked itself in the dark where no one can ever touch it, nor hurt it. The reservations have led me to keep that border standing until the time. And til now I keep waiting, diary, and it seems like nothing has changed.

Well, I will leave now. If I am given a chance to make a wish though, I'd wish to have the strength to never stop believing...even in the impossible.